So, I'm in college now. I'm meeting all kinds of new people who I have never met before. It's fun. Until we start talking about families...specifically parents. As I'm very certain that the only people reading this are people who know me personally, I'm sure I don't have to explain why that might get a little awkward for me.

I figure that telling someone your mom died is a bit like ripping off a band-aid. You do it really quick, pretend it doesn't hurt anymore, and get on with whatever you were doing.

To be perfectly honest, it doesn't hurt to talk about anymore. It's just really uncomfortable for whomever I tell. Unless they've been through the same thing, they don't know what to say. Which works out perfectly, as I have nothing I especially want to hear on that subject. I really wish that once, I would mention this fact, and the other person would say, "Oh, sorry. Anyway, about exploding monkeys..."

NOTE: There would be no uncomfortable pause between sentences.

I also wish that I wouldn't get a similar reaction when I bring up my mother in front of people who already know what happened. She existed, and had a large impact on my life, and her stuff is still floating around my house, so mentioning her in passing shouldn't be taken as a sign that I'm soon going to burst into tears or share inner feelings of unresolved anger and sorrow. I know better than to do that in nearly all situations. I need to be having a decently serious conversation for at least a couple of hours before I feel comfortable enough to go more in depth than, "...my mom's old #5 DPNs..." (If you know what #5 DPNs are, I applaud you.)

Anyway, that's probably never going to happen. Hell, I even get a mite uncomfortable when I meet people my age who've been through the same thing.

It used to be a sad situation. Now it's just awkward.